A Walk In Heaven (Volume 1) (The Grayson Brothers) Page 18

  “Well, now that we have that settled,” Natalie said as she stood, “I think we should leave.” She glanced at Careen. “I fear if we stay any longer, we’ll wear out our welcome.”

  Careen didn’t have the energy to laugh, but she managed a weak smile.

  “Allow me to walk you to the door.” Joshua held out his elbow and each woman hooked her hand around one.

  Giggles from Laura and Natalie made Careen want to groan aloud. As soon as they walked outside, Elizabeth released a heavy sigh and smiled.

  “Wasn’t that a pleasant visit?” the older woman asked.

  “It was nice of them to bring the special tea and crocheted shawl,” Careen answered.

  “You know, I’ve always liked the mayor’s daughter. She was such a shy girl in school, and she’s overcome her shyness quite a bit, which is good. I’ve noticed she still stares dreamily at Joshua, though.”

  “Yes, I also noticed that.” Careen fisted her hands in the shawl, hoping the tension didn’t show on her face as well.

  “I think Joshua needs to start searching for a wife, and if he’s smart, he’ll think about that young woman.” Elizabeth nodded toward the window.

  Careen wanted to argue, but didn’t have the energy. She would not point out Laura’s flaws to her mother-in-law like she did to Joshua. But as long as Joshua knew Laura wasn’t the right woman… Careen’s thoughts stopped as she scrunched her forehead. If Joshua knew Laura wouldn’t make a good mother for the twins, why was he flirting with her? He was flirting, wasn’t he? Or was Careen just being overly sensitive right now?

  “Yes, I agree Joshua needs to find a mother for his daughters.” Careen couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  “You know,” Elizabeth stood and walked to the window. “I think Miss Jones is sweet on Joshua as well. I wonder if he’ll consider courting her.”

  “We’ll have to ask him, won’t we?”

  Elizabeth kept quiet as she watched. Soon, she gasped and a wide smile took over her face. “Oh, my. I can’t believe what I just saw.” She placed her hand on her chest and leaned closer to the window. “The Lord be praised, but miracles do happen.” The older woman spun around and looked at Careen. “Joshua just kissed Miss Jones’ knuckles when he bid her goodbye. Perhaps he is indeed thinking as we are.”

  Heaviness settled in Careen’s chest, feeling very much like the ailment she was recovering from. Yet this weight wasn’t any part of the pneumonia she had. Apparently, the news Joshua had discovered from Pierre’s sheriff was enough to harden his heart against Careen. Joshua was finally giving up on her and wooing another woman.

  Why couldn’t Careen feel as joyous as her mother-in-law? Instead, she wanted to curl into a ball and cry like an infant over her loss.

  Joshua came back into the parlor, his face aglow. He glanced at Careen, but then aimed his attention at Elizabeth. His mother ran to him and grasped his hands.

  “Forgive me, son, but I saw you kiss Miss Jones’ knuckles a few minutes ago. Is there something you’d like to tell me now?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Joshua really wished Careen wasn’t in the room. Then again, he couldn’t ignore her forever. He must come to terms with his heart. Did he want to trust her again? Ignoring the love he had for her couldn’t be done. The only issue he had was trying to forgive and forget.

  After his mother’s comment, the light vanished in Careen’s eyes – what little light had been there, anyway. However, his mother’s expression was exactly opposite. The giddiness shown in the older woman’s face as color bloomed on her skin.

  “Oh, do tell. What did you say to Miss Jones?” his mother asked.

  “I didn’t ask her anything, Ma. She actually did the asking.”

  His mother’s eyes widened. “What?”

  “Miss Jones invited me to have lunch with her and her parents. She said her parents issued the invitation. She was just the messenger.”

  His mother squealed and threw her arms around Joshua, hugging him tight. “Oh, my dear boy. I’m so happy.” She kissed his cheek the pulled back. “I think you’re doing the right thing.”

  “Ma, quit acting like I’m courting her. It’s nothing of the sort.”

  “You may not be courting her – yet – but it’s a start. And a single man of your age should start searching for a proper wife.”

  He stole another glance at Careen. She held a shaky smile, but he could tell it was forced. Even her eyes were a little misty. Obviously, she still held feelings for him and didn’t approve of his lunch with the Jones’.

  His mother pulled away and looked at Careen. “My dear, I need to go get dinner started. Will you be all right here in the parlor?”

  Careen nodded. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be just fine.”

  Elizabeth walked to her daughter-in-law and patted her cheek. “I believe you have overdone it today. The color in your face has disappeared. Perhaps we should get you back to your room.” She turned and met Joshua’s gaze. “Josh, you wouldn’t mind helping Careen upstairs would you?”

  Joshua shook his head. “Not at all.”

  “Thank you, my dear.” Even though she spoke to him, she kept her eyes on Careen as she kissed her head. “I’ll come up to see you later.”

  “All right.” Careen nodded.

  Joshua remained silent until his mother left the room, then he released a pent-up breath and took hesitant steps toward Careen. He really didn’t want to see her discouraged expression, but he had no choice this time. She watched him until he stood right in front of her.

  “Would you like me to carry you upstairs?”

  Her eyes widened as if surprised at his question, then her gaze narrowed as her eyebrows furrowed in sadness. “Of course not. I can walk by myself.”

  She pushed him aside as she struggled to stand. He allowed her stubbornness and willingness to prove to him she didn’t need him, until she took her first step and nearly collapsed on the floor. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around her.

  “Yes, Careen. You’ve definitely shown me how you can do this by yourself.”

  She flashed him a scowl and pushed at him again, but this time he wouldn’t budge.

  “Let me go, Joshua.”

  “Not until I get you to your room.” He swooped her in his arms, marched out of the room and up the stairs. She was quiet and didn’t struggle, and he felt the urge to look at her, but kept his eyes ahead of him. He didn’t want to see the sadness in her eyes. If that happened, guilt would consume him again. Yet he didn’t have anything to feel guilty for. She was the one who lied to him!

  It was hard to believe he’d held her so gently and enjoyed kissing her not more than a week ago. Now with her in his arms again, his conscious struggled with his heart, but he could not give in and become weak-minded again. What she did was wrong and although he still loved her, he couldn’t easily forget.

  Once he reached her room and walked inside, he set her down, but didn’t release her until she gained her footing.

  “Thank you,” she muttered.

  He waited until she crawled onto the bed before turning to leave. Just before he reached the door, she called his name. The despair in her voice wrung his heart, Stopping, he closed his eyes, not wanting to turn and look at her.

  “Before you leave, I do need one more thing,” she said softly.

  “What?”

  “I would like to finish our conversation about the day Matthew was killed.”

  Her voice cracked and Joshua balled his hands into fists, willing himself to remain calm. He didn’t think he’d be able to speak without showing his hurt over her lie. “Are you sure you’re up to it?”

  “Yes.”

  Silence stretched in the room. Finally, he knew he must say something if only just to release the built-up emotion inside him. Saying a silent prayer for strength, he turned and faced her. She hugged a pillow to her chest as her eyelashes spiked with tears. His first reaction was to rush to her, take her in his arms and comfort, b
ut he stopped himself before he went with his impulses.

  “Fine. Tell me what happened that day.” He swallowed, adding moisture to his suddenly dry throat. “And this time, I want the absolute truth.”

  Careen nodded as tears swam in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Joshua. I didn’t want you – or anyone in your family – to know what really happened. Not yet.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it was my fault Matthew died.”

  Anger coursed through him faster. “Well, I think it’s time you told me everything.”

  She nodded and wiped the tears. “I honestly believed getting away from my cousin was the right choice to make, which was why I advertised myself as a mail-order-bride. I sneaked away in the middle of the night with my servant, and we met Matthew in South Dakota. I didn’t think Luther knew where we’d gone, and I still don’t know how he tracked me down.” She reached to the side of the bed and picked up her handkerchief and wiped her nose. “I had no clue I’d placed Matthew in danger. But when we walked out of the church, he was shot down in cold blood. Your brother couldn’t have even protected himself.” She wiped her leaky eyes again. “Within moments, Luther stood beside me, urging me to go with him back to Iowa. He told me he wanted to marry me. I resisted, but he grabbed me and pulled me with him. I couldn’t tear away from him. His grip was too strong. He blamed me for Matthew’s death, telling me that if I hadn’t married him, he’d still be alive. Thankfully, before Luther could carry out his threat, the sheriff and his deputies arrested Luther. They had a witness who saw Luther shoot Matthew.”

  She reached for the cup of water on the bed stand, took a sip before continuing. “Once they locked Luther in jail, I knew I had to make arrangements to get Matthew’s body back to his family. I also needed to tell you all what had really happened, even though I was afraid to say anything. I feared you would all blame me as I had blamed myself. Nonetheless, telling your family what really happened was something I had to do. I’d prepared myself, but when the opportunity came, I couldn’t do it. Your family misunderstood and blamed a stray bullet for Matthew’s death. When I realized your mother had a weak heart, I knew I couldn’t say anything yet.”

  Another tear slid down her face and she dabbed it with the handkerchief. “I convinced myself that because Luther hadn’t been convicted of his crime – since I hadn’t heard about the trial yet – that it was all right to let your family continue to believe a stray bullet had killed Matthew. All I was waiting for was to hear Luther had his trial and then I was going to tell your family. I swear it, Joshua. You must believe me.”

  Joshua’s heart wrenched. A mixture of confusion and hurt ran through him. He wanted to blame her, yet he felt compelled to believe her. His heart told him to believe. He walked closer to the bed and sat on the chair. “You honestly think you’re to blame for Matthew’s death?”

  “Yes.” She held the pillow tighter to her chest. “Don’t you see? I am the one responsible. I shouldn’t have married Matthew in the first place. I’d known what a vicious, vindictive person my cousin was. I should have realized he’d stop at nothing to get my inheritance.”

  “Did Matthew know about Luther?”

  “No, but only because I didn’t have time to tell him. I’d planned on telling him, really I did.”

  “Do you think Luther knows where you are now?”

  She shrugged. “He knows, but it doesn’t matter. He’s locked up in jail, awaiting his trial.”

  Joshua sighed and folded his arms. Apparently she didn’t know her cousin had escaped. The news would upset her, Joshua was certain. “The letter I received from the sheriff of Pierre mentioned Luther had broken out of jail.”

  She gasped and sat up straight. “Oh, please…tell me it’s not true.”

  “I’m afraid it is. The sheriff also mentioned there were several counties involved in trying to locate him, but as of yet, they haven’t been successful.”

  She scrubbed her hands over her face, then moved off the bed. “I have to leave. Today. By staying here, I’m putting you all in danger.”

  She moved past him, but he jumped to his feet and grabbed her shoulders. “Whoa, little lady. You’re not going anywhere.”

  “I can’t stay here, Joshua.” She clutched the front of his shirt. “Don’t you understand? He’ll find me! He’ll kill anyone who stands in his way – just like he did Matthew.”

  “Now let’s talk about this before you go getting so upset you relapse and become sicker.” He carefully pushed her back on the edge of the bed and sat beside her. “I know you think leaving will solve the problem, but you’re forgetting one important piece of the puzzle.”

  “What is that?”

  “You’re a Grayson now. We protect our own.” Joshua smiled. “When he comes to Virginia City and asks after your welfare, it’s going to spark an interest in the community. We have many friends out there and they will let us know when a stranger comes to town asking about our new sister-in-law.”

  She grasped his hands. “I pray you’re right, Joshua.”

  “Not only that, but many of Ma’s friends are gossipmongers. We’ll for certain hear about it if a strange man starts asking questions.”

  “I will tell your parents the truth tomorrow. I don’t have the strength today.”

  “No, Careen. You were right about Ma’s heart. She wouldn’t be able to handle this kind of news yet. And it is wise to wait and hear about Luther’s trial first.”

  Sighing heavily, she shook her head. “But he’s not in jail now.”

  “I know, but I still think we should wait. I’ll let my pa and brothers know, and together we will find your cousin and put a stop to him.”

  She rested her face against his hands, laying her forehead on his knuckles. She cried quietly, her body shaking with each deep breath. It took all of his strength not to stroke her hair and assure her everything would be all right. Watching her agony was his agony as well, and his heart softened with her every sob.

  “Joshua, please forgive me for lying.” She raised her head and pleaded with watery eyes. “I didn’t want Matthew’s family to hate me for his death. I…still don’t want that.”

  “But you didn’t pull the trigger, Careen.”

  “I know, but if I hadn’t met him in Pierre, he’d still be alive today.”

  The guilt she must be feeling – blaming herself when it really wasn’t her fault. It crushed him to think he’d once accused her of his brother’s death as well. Now he shared her pain, her heartache, and her guilt. He knew firsthand how miserable it was to hold something inside, thinking nobody else could understand the burden. She needed him, just as he needed her.

  His heart crumbled and he gave in, sliding his palm over her hair. “You believe in God, right?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then you must believe that this was God’s plan. We don’t know why, but if God wanted Matthew to live, my brother would still be here. For some reason we don’t know – and may never know – God wanted Matthew in heaven.”

  Closing her eyes, she rubbed her cheek against his hand. When his heart twisted again, he cupped her face, lifting it to his. He brushed his lips across her forehead. “Careen, please don’t worry yourself sick over Luther. Trust that Pa, my brothers and I will catch Luther before he can get to you.” Joshua stood and stepped away from her. “I told you once before that you’re a Grayson now, and we protect our own, so please believe me.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered and scooted back in bed.

  Joshua nodded, then turned and walked out of the door. As he hurried back down the stairs and outside, he repeated in his mind what he’d told Careen. He’d accused her of lying to him, but now he feared he’d just lied to her. What if Luther was closer than Joshua expected? After all, that would explain why bad things were suddenly happening around the ranch. What if Luther was the one cutting their fences, and setting traps?

  Anger surged through Joshua, making him walk a little faster. He vowed here and now
not to allow that man to touch Careen! Joshua would do anything humanly possible to stop her cousin. Anything at all!

  * * * *

  I’m running out of time!

  Luther pushed his horse faster, trying to get to the nearest Mercantile. Irritation flowed through him, getting stronger as the days passed. If he didn’t pay the Irishman soon, he’d lose the important shipment. And if that happened…word would get around that Luther Kennedy could not be trusted. That was a fate worse than death, especially in his line of business.

  He hadn’t planned on stopping in Billings, but more supplies were needed to finish making the trip to Virginia City.

  Once in town, he lowered his cowboy hat on his forehead and walked hunched shoulder, not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes. Better to be careful at a time like this. He’d seen a posse of lawmen riding through town asking questions the other day. Luther couldn’t take any chances.

  Inside the store, he stood by the window as some ranch hands purchased what they needed. Luther couldn’t take the chance of being recognized.

  As he waited for the cowpokes to leave, Luther’s mind wandered back to the first time he met his cousin. He’d known about her from stories his parents told, but never met the Southern Belle in person. Until her father was killed in the war and her mother died of a lung ailment.

  Luther’s father had arranged for Careen to come live with them. Luther had the privilege of picking her up at the train station. When she walked off the train and he beheld her beauty, his heart had melted. He’d known at that moment she would be his wife.

  For a while afterwards, he’d tried to woo Careen. She was still saddened from her parents’ demise, but she’d allowed Luther’s attention. He portrayed himself as her friend – her confidant. Many times she had cried on his shoulder, which only made his love for her grow.

  But over the years, something in her changed. He could feel their relationship growing distant. Luther had been kept busy because of the shady deals he’d made and befriended people who would eventually serve as his contacts. Soon, Luther realized she had become aloof to his charm. He would not stand for that. He had always gotten what he wanted, and he would not allow Careen to ignore him any longer.