A Walk In Heaven (Volume 1) (The Grayson Brothers) Read online

  Releasing a big breath, Careen squared in her seat. Curious, he glanced her way. She tucked in a stray lock of brown hair back into her bonnet before meeting his eyes. Then she smiled.

  “I’m anxious to meet your family. Matthew had talked about all of you so much in his letters, I feel I practically know you.”

  Joshua clenched his jaw. This wasn’t right. He couldn’t let go of the fact that she’d only known his brother through missives, or that they’d only met face-to-face the day before he died. She hadn’t loved Matthew, and her loving display thus far sickened him. She wasn’t even wearing black, for heaven’s sake!

  Gripping the reins, he forced himself to be polite. Ma would have his hide to learn he’d behaved otherwise. “Perhaps now would be a good time to warn you.” He swallowed hard. “My family didn’t know of Matthew’s plans to run off to South Dakota to marry you. I was the only one he confided in.”

  The color in her cheeks disappeared and her eyes widened. “Oh, my...” She focused back on the road before them. “Am I to assume my visit isn’t welcomed?”

  “On the contrary, Miss Kennedy... Um, I mean Mrs. Grayson.”

  Placing her hand on his arm, she met his eyes. “Please, call me Careen.”

  He nodded. “As I was saying, Careen, although my family didn’t know about the wedding, they are very excited to meet you. Especially Ma. Having you there will strengthen her heart, I’m sure.

  “Strengthen her heart? Does she have a bad heart?”

  “Yes. For years, in fact.”

  “Oh, dear. When…when did your family find out about the marriage?”

  “Matthew left in the dead of night, but he had written a letter for our parents. Ma and Pa were upset at Matthew because he hadn’t told them in person.”

  “I worried that there may be some…tension…accompanying my visit, but returning Matthew home was absolutely necessary. Family needs the chance to say good bye.” She sighed a heavy breath. “My pa died in the war, but his body was never returned to us. To this day I regret never having a funeral or remains to bury. For years I waited for him to come back, hoping the army had made a mistake.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” A hint of empathy took off a sliver of his irritation. Maybe she understood his feelings a little more than he first thought.

  “Do your parents –” She touched his arm again as tears swam in her pretty eyes. “Do they blame me?”

  Should they? Joshua squashed the thought before it could race off his tongue. Her question probably meant nothing, but something about it struck him as odd. “Matthew had always been, uh—” Joshua struggled for the right words as the family conversation from the dinner table whisked through his mind. “—An adventurous boy. He surprised the family at every turn.”

  She blew out a gush of air between her lips and smiled once again. “Oh, thank goodness. I would hate to go someplace I wasn’t welcomed.”

  Wordlessly, he urged the team a little faster. The sooner they reached the ranch, the better his nerves would be.

  Once again, she messed with her hair and her bonnet, which drew his attention to her. He really should just shut his mouth and not ask, but the question on his mind since he’d discovered she was Matthew’s wife finally rushed out. “Careen, I hope you forgive me for asking, but why aren’t you wearing black?”

  “My maid and I were on the first train leaving the morning after Matthew was killed. I didn’t have time to purchase a mourning dress. After Mathew was shot, I had to handle the traveling plans myself, as well as the telegraph I sent your parents. I had so much on my mind, I just couldn’t think straight.” She dabbed the tip of her gloved finger to the corner of her eye.

  Understandable, given the circumstances. “Don’t worry. Ma will help you. She loves making clothes. In fact, she spoils my daughters with new dresses all the time.”

  The worried lines on Careen’s forehead disappeared and she smiled again. “What about your wife? Does she sew as well?”

  Joshua shook his head, his heart clenching from his own nightmarish past. “I’m widowed.” He prayed she wouldn’t ask more, because he wasn’t about to give her any more information. He knew how women liked to pry into people’s lives.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you,” he muttered.

  “How old are your daughters?”

  “Four-years-old. Twins.”

  “Oh, how wonderful.” She clasped her hands against her bosom. “I bet they are just adorable.”

  He smiled. How could he not while talking about his daughters? “I happen to think they are angels from heaven.”

  “And I’m sure they are.” Her gaze moved slowly over his face, making him uncomfortable. “Do they look like you?” she added.

  “No. They resemble their mother quite a bit.”

  A few seconds passed by in silence before she leaned toward him. “Was your wife very ill before she died?”

  Joshua figured Careen couldn’t keep herself from prying deeper into his life. He didn’t want to talk about it. He wouldn’t. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about her,” he snapped, keeping his focus straight ahead on the road.

  “Indeed.” She pulled away. “Forgive me. I tend to talk too much when I’m nervous.”

  Silence descended, but the quiet wasn’t as blessed as he’d hope, and – may the good Lord save him – he felt bad for snapping at her in spite of himself. Be civil, Joshua, make the best of this. He cleared his throat and glanced at her. “Matthew tells me you grew up in Charleston?”

  She nodded.

  “He also mentioned you were driven away from your home in Charleston during the war.”

  Once again, she gave him a nod, her eyes staring straight ahead.

  “How old were you?”

  She pursed her lips as her jaw tightened. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about that part of my life.”

  Oh, great! He’d made her mad and they hadn’t even reached home. Then again, did he care? He didn’t want her here anyway.

  “So tell me, Careen, how much time did you actually spend with my brother before he died?”

  Her brow furrowed. “I met Matthew at the train station around three o’clock. I spent the rest of the evening getting to know him. First thing the next morning we married.”

  “I see.”

  Careen’s lips quivered as if she would cry, but she bit her bottom lip and turned away from him.

  He dug his fingers into his thighs. How dare she behave as some grieving widow! One evening before a hasty wedding did not make her family or warrant this charade.

  After a few moments her chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “I’d never met anyone like Matthew Grayson,” she continued. “He was so caring, so thoughtful, so understanding… He saw everything as a new adventure with such a cheerful attitude. I couldn’t help but love the way he—”

  “Enough!”

  She snapped to face him. “Excuse me?”

  “I’ve had enough of this, Careen. How dare you pretend to know anything about my brother? You hadn’t known him for a full day before he married you.”

  Careen gasped, her eyes widening as color seeped away from her face.

  “You talk of loving him, yet how could you? I’m no fool, Mrs. Grayson, so when you’re around me, kindly drop the charade. I can see right through you.” He narrowed his gaze on her. “Tell me, Careen, did you marry him…for his money?”

  “Oh!” She straightened and glared at him. “I did nothing of the sort. I have a hefty inheritance, if you must know.”

  He waved his hand through the air in dismissal. “Just forget it.”

  “Forget it? How, can I forget what you just said?”

  Inwardly, Joshua berated himself for speaking his mind. Ma should have come with him. For certain he would have held his tongue then. “Forgive me, Careen. I’ve upset you. I’ll not speak of it again.”

  He waited for her to call him names, to accuse him of having
the manners of a farm animal, but she didn’t. Instead, she faced forward and didn’t say a word. Was this confirmation of his accusations, perhaps?

  For the first time he could remember, a woman actually stayed silent for the rest of their journey.

  Chapter Three

  When Matthew had mentioned he and his brother were as different as night and day, Careen just thought it was in appearance. Now she knew what Matthew meant. Where her husband had been kind and tender, Joshua was rough around the edges...and extremely rude!

  His upbringing couldn’t have been the same as Matthew’s. Her husband had been a true gentleman in every sense of the word. Yet Joshua must have been raised with their cows. Obviously, he didn’t care about other people’s feelings. His answers had been shockingly discourteous, but his tone of voice was even more despicable. Then the accusations he flung at her…

  Battling a montage of bitter emotions, she held herself from saying anything. She wanted to defend herself, but in reality, he had rights to his own opinion. At the train station, she’d spotted Joshua immediately. A man so eye-catching and muscular was difficult to miss. Unfortunately, Joshua’s rotten attitude made him considerably less handsome in her opinion. She prayed the rest of his family were more polite, because she didn’t think she could stay with people who didn’t like her.

  Although, it took her a few minutes, she reasoned Joshua probably acted this way because of his brother’s death. At least she hoped that’s why he came across as if he hated her.

  She feared her stay at Virginia City would not be very long. Yet, returning to Iowa was out of the question. Aunt Charlotte would certainly blame her for Luther’s arrest. Careen’s aunt had always sided with her evil son.

  Until she received the money from her inheritance, she had no other place to go but back to Iowa. Being stranded and nearly penniless might be better than imposing on strangers.

  As her anger subsided, she finally noticed Montana’s striking scenery. Never in her life had she seen so many rolling hills covered in green, so many colorful purple and yellow flowers in the acres of meadows, and such large trees. Off in a distance, large mountains covered in snow dominated the skyline. Of course, it was early spring, so snow was to be expected up this far north. Today the sky was so blue it mirrored in the small river running beside the trail. Near the water, black and yellow birds perched on the wooden fence chirping a beautiful tune. High on a tall tree, another bird sat proudly, eyeing the group of travelers closely. She couldn’t be certain, but she thought it might be a golden eagle.

  The wooden fence seemed to lead the way, and Joshua turned the buckboard toward a side road. Fields as far as the eye could see stretched before her, scattered with hefty cattle. Soon, the dots on the horizon became log cabins littering the land. One very large house stood majestically in the center of a cluster of smaller cabins. The stable was easily recognized with all the wagons beside it.

  As they neared the main house, voices rang through the air. “They’re here!”

  Careen sat a little straighter, hoping to give a good first impression to the rest of the family since she’d failed to do so with Joshua.

  An older woman with a thick waist ushered two small girls out of the house and down the porch stairs. A small wind blew her brown hair with silver stripes around her face, and she tucked the loose strands behind an ear. The girls beside her both wore pink dresses and had matching ribbons that held back their blonde hair in a ponytail.

  Two men ran from the field. They were probably close to Careen’s age. A middle-aged man followed, but not as fast. Joshua looked a lot like the older man, and the younger men resembled Matthew quite a bit.

  A lump formed in Careen’s throat, not expecting to feel such sorrow when seeing Matthew’s family for the first time. Perhaps coming here had been a mistake. It would be hard to see these people every day and not think of Matthew; the little time they’d spent together had meant so much. It would be even harder to tell them Luther had been responsible for killing their son, and brother.

  Joshua stopped the wagon and hopped off, then reached his hands up to help her down. Hesitantly, she slipped her gloved hands onto his shoulders, trying not to meet his eyes as he lifted her from the buckboard. When she did glance at his face, his eyes were on her but quickly moved away.

  “Ma,” Joshua began moving away, “this is Careen.”

  The older woman stepped toward her with outstretched arms. Tears glistened in Mrs. Grayson’s eyes and her smile quivered.

  “Oh, my goodness,” the older woman exclaimed. “You’re more adorable than a baby chick.”

  Before Careen could reply or even chuckle, Mrs. Grayson wrapped her arms around her and gave her a welcoming hug. The scent of homemade bread and – Careen breathed deeply – soap enveloped her as she returned the embrace.

  Tears sprang to Careen’s eyes. What could this woman be thinking right now? Her son had just died, and here she stood, showing affection to the mail-order bride he’d secretly married the same day of his death. Careen’s heart twisted. And to think this woman had a heart condition! Matthew’s mother must be a very understanding and forgiving woman. This alone, gave Careen hope that the Graysons wouldn’t hate her when she told them about Luther.

  Mrs. Grayson pulled away and wiped her moist eyes. “Forgive me for being such a sap, but I’m very excited to meet you.”

  “As am I, Mrs. Grayson.” Careen released a small laugh and dried her eyes as well.

  The older woman flipped a dismissing hand through the air. “None of that, now. Around here, just call me Elizabeth.”

  Careen nodded.

  The older man walked up and stopped beside Elizabeth. Mrs. Grayson tapped the man’s arm. “This is my husband, William.”

  Careen put forth her right hand in greeting, but just like his wife had done, he took her in a strong hug. So far, most of the Grayson family was a friendly bunch.

  William’s dark hair and eyes resembled Joshua’s. Thank heavens the father wore a genuine smile whereas Joshua didn’t.

  When William stepped away, he motioned to the other men who appeared to be about Careen’s age. “My dear, these are Matthew’s younger brothers; Peter and Gage.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Careen said with a smile.

  They didn’t give her a hug like their parents had but shook her hand. The one named Peter resembled Matthew quite a bit with his wavy blond hair and hazel eyes. Even the crooked tilt to his nose was like Matthew’s. Careen knew it would be hard to look at him without thinking of her husband. Gage was stuck in the middle, resembling his father’s rugged features, yet with a lighter color of hair, and his eyes mirrored his mother’s perfectly.

  “And these two adorable girls,” Elizabeth continued, touching each one on the head, “are Joshua’s daughters. Frances and Jessica.”

  Careen bent to their level. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  They both smiled, their blue eyes twinkling. Careen could see they had their father’s eyes – even though she didn’t think Joshua’s would ever twinkle like that. They also had his slightly pointy nose.

  The one named Frances tugged on Careen’s dress. “Can I call you Aunt Careen?”

  Tears sprang to her eyes again. “I would love that.”

  Silence crept over the group. Their solemn gazes were pinned to the wagon behind Careen. She peered over her shoulder as Joshua, his father and brothers stood at the back of the wagon, staring at the casket. Tears filled their eyes, and not a word broke the silence as they eased the casket out – two men on each side – and hefted it to their shoulders. Taking calculated steps, they carried Matthew’s body to the stable.

  Mrs. Grayson cried softly in her handkerchief as her granddaughters clung to her dress. Careen eyes misted as well, and her lips trembled as she held back from sobbing aloud. Once the men had disappeared inside the stable, Mrs. Grayson cleared her throat.

  “All right, let’s adjourn into the house. Lunch is ready, and I’m certain Careen is
famished.”

  Careen didn’t dare tell her mother-in-law how right she was. During the train ride, Careen had been so nervous about meeting Matthew’s family that she hadn’t eaten much. A bird probably ate more. Now her stomach growled to be fed.

  The older woman finally met Careen’s gaze. “Peter and Gage will help Joshua bring in your trunks.”

  Careen’s servant walked up to her, but kept quiet. “Elizabeth, this is my maid, Betsy.”

  With quivering lips, Matthew’s mother smiled as she shook Betsy’s hand. “I’m glad you came with Careen. I’m sure she was grateful for your company.”

  “Yes, Ma’am.” Betsy bobbed in a small curtsey.

  Instead of being shown directly to her bedroom, Careen followed the older woman to the kitchen. Careen’s stomach grumbled at the buffet of food spread across the table, rolls, fried chicken, and an assortment of vegetables.

  Elizabeth showed her where the washbasin was, and Careen was more than grateful to scrub away the dust off her face and hands. Betsy washed after Careen was finished, then they both stepped to the table. Elizabeth told them where to sit. Within seconds, the Grayson men clomping their way in, filing to their chairs with efficiency born of habit. Each man’s eyes were red and puffy as somber expressions claimed their face.

  Uncomfortable glances from Matthew’s brothers were being tossed her way, and she received the impression something was out of place. Dread sank inside her and she wondered if she’d been placed in Matthew’s old chair. Once William sat, everyone folded their arms and bowed their heads. Although Careen had been raised a Christian, she hadn’t prayed over her food since going to live with her aunt in Iowa. Careen’s heart softened knowing her new family worshipped God.

  “Dear Lord,” William began, “we thank Thee for this nutritious food that has been lovingly prepared, and for the many blessings we have been given. We are especially grateful at this time for Matthew’s wife, Careen, for her company and her love. Please, Lord let us feel Your presence during our time of sorrow, so that we may be able to get through this trial. Amen.”