A Walk In Heaven (Volume 1) (The Grayson Brothers) Page 15

  “Why did you call out his name in your dream? In fact, you told Luther not to kill him.”

  She leaned her back against the wall, folded her arms and stared at the floor. “When my parents died, I was sent to live with my father’s brother, his wife and their son in Iowa. I’d only met them a few times while growing up, and when I went to live with them permanently, I dreaded every moment. Although my aunt and uncle are sweet people, their son is the devil himself, I swear it. Luther is a few years older than I and has wanted for nothing. His parents gave him everything he asked for, and when I came along, he made my life a living hell.” She shivered and her stomach churned. “Luther is a ruthless person and doesn’t take no for an answer. Unfortunately, he had set his mind on making me as his bride.”

  Joshua arched an eyebrow. “What was Luther’s motivation?”

  She lifted her gaze to Joshua. “I will get a large inheritance when I marry. My family’s plantation and the land surrounding it come with my inheritance. Luther believes he can do a lot with that piece of land. This reason alone is why he wants me for his wife. He’s why I put an ad in the newspaper for a mail-order-bride. I wanted to get away from my cousin. Matthew was my rescuer when he agreed to marry me.” She shrugged. “I think Luther was in my dreams because he still worries me. You know how dreams can become mixed-up with reality?”

  Joshua nodded. “That makes sense.”

  “In my dream, I relived my wedding day, but when Matthew and I walked out of the church, Luther was in my dream with a gun in his hand.” She shivered again.

  Joshua moved to her and gathered her in his arms. The tenderness in his eyes made her want to cry all over again. “Does Luther know where you are now? Do you think he knows your husband is dead?”

  “I hope he doesn’t know where I am.” She shook her head. “Besides that, the last I’d heard, he was in jail.”

  “What about your inheritance? Have you received it yet?”

  “No. I never wrote to Aunt Charlotte and told her. I had more important things on my mind like taking my dead husband to his family.”

  “That’s understandable.” He swept his hand over her hair. “Could you go through a lawyer to get your inheritance, instead?”

  “That’s a splendid idea.”

  Joshua stared into her eyes for the longest time without saying a word. Careen didn’t dare say anything, hoping he wasn’t trying to find a hole in her story.

  Finally his expression relaxed and he smiled. “You don’t need the inheritance.”

  She gasped. “I certainly do. How will I live? Especially now?”

  “You’ll stay here at the ranch. We are your family now.”

  Her heart burst with happiness, making her want to weep all over again. But her conscience wouldn’t allow the joy, if even for a brief moment. Although he said this now, he may change his mind once she told his family who really killed Matthew. “Oh, Joshua, you’re too kind. But I can’t do that to you and your family. I need to make my own way in life.”

  “No, sweetheart. You’re not thinking clearly—”

  “Joshua, please.” She placed her finger on his lips. “No more talk of this. I’m hungry and I have a headache.”

  He nodded and pulled her closer to brush his lips across her forehead. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

  He dropped his mouth to her lips, keeping her from saying anymore. At this point, her heart won the argument with her conscience, telling her mind she needed his kisses. She craved this affection, only because she didn’t know how long she’d have the pleasure in her life.

  With a groan, she wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss, sliding her lips in perfect rhythm with his. His warm breath mingled with hers; his teeth gentle scraping her tongue as he deepened the kiss. Explosions of delight burst inside her body as she fit herself closer against him.

  He tasted like heaven – so pleasurable and glorious. For a fleeting moment, she wondered how she’d gotten so lucky to find a man like him. Pausing in thought, she remembered she’d felt that way about Matthew and look where that landed him. Six feet under.

  Thinking herself lucky was not healthy at all. It didn’t matter if Joshua was a wonderful man, she could not give her heart to him. Too many problems complicated her life and it wasn’t fair to burden Joshua or his family with her trouble.

  She broke the kiss and laid her head on his chest so he wouldn’t have to see the sudden sorrow flowing inside her. “Is it time to eat yet? I’m starved.”

  Chuckling, he released her and strolled the cupboard. “Let’s see, we have jerky, jerky, or—”

  “More jerky?” she finished for him.

  “Well, I was going to say apples.”

  She managed a smile. Watching him softened her heart, and brought happiness to her soul. Quickly, she halted her thoughts. Oh, dear! I think I’m in love with Joshua!

  * * * *

  Joshua held tight to Careen as she rode on his lap all the way back home. The snow drifted from the gray clouds lightly this afternoon, and visibility could be seen for several feet in front of him, so he knew they’d make it back without freezing to death. He should have let Careen sit behind him, but he enjoyed the closeness, and this way he could bury his face in her neck and breathe in her flowery scent whenever he wanted. Once they arrived at the house, all this cuddling would end. It was too soon to tell his family he was falling in love with Careen. They were all still in mourning, and falling in love so quickly was unheard of.

  Guilt overrode his happiness. If he announced his feelings for Careen now, scandal would come upon his family. He couldn’t put them through that.

  He didn’t want to tell Careen of his feelings, either. She needed time to grieve for Matthew, and Joshua would give her that space. He just hoped she was falling in love with him. She’d be a wonderful mother to his daughters, and he knew his daughters would be thrilled to welcome Careen into their family if she accepted his proposal of marriage.

  Ever since she told him of her cousin, Joshua had the overwhelming urge to protect her. Strange, but he’d felt that way since meeting her, and had fought those feelings. He hadn’t known her then like he knew her now, and he vowed he couldn’t let anyone hurt her. It relieved Joshua to know her cousin was in jail. Nobody should live in fear like Careen had done.

  She snuggled to him as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her shoulders. He grinned. She was so adorable, even when she wasn’t trying to be.

  “Sweetheart, we’re almost home.”

  She lifted her face to him. “We are?”

  “Yes.”

  She glanced ahead of them. “I can’t see the house yet.”

  “It’s because of the falling snow, but believe me, we’re almost there. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ridden in a snowstorm and always found my way home.”

  “Then why didn’t you take us home last night?”

  “Because you were frozen stiff. I worried you’d get sick. You needed to be by a fire to thaw.”

  She nodded. “You’re such a clever man.”

  He chuckled. “And don’t you be forgetting that, sweetheart.” He pulled the horse to a stop before the house came into view.

  “Why did we stop?”

  “Because I want to kiss you one more time.” He rubbed her cold cheek. “Once we reach home, I won’t be able to kiss you for a while.”

  Heat scalded on her cheeks. “Joshua, you shouldn’t say such things.”

  “Being with you makes me want to.” He touched his finger to her nose. “Because you’re in mourning, I think it best if we keep our feelings secret. Don’t you?”

  “Joshua, really. You mustn’t think this way. We can’t keep doing this.”

  “Why? Are you trying to tell me you don’t like me?”

  She shook her head. “Of course not.”

  “Aren’t you attracted to me?”

  Shyly, she dropped her attention to her lap. “That has nothing to do with it—
”

  He chuckled. “Sweetheart, it has everything to do with it.” He leaned closer and swept his mouth over hers briefly. “Because I’m extremely attracted to you.”

  She met his eyes, and he could tell from her soft gaze, she fought her feelings for him. He would do his best to help her admit what she really felt.

  “Joshua, we grew close at the cabin because you saved my life and because we talked about Matthew. I just don’t want you to read more in to it than that.”

  Doubt snuck in, and he wondered if he had misjudged her reactions. Then he remembered the way she had kissed him the first time, and those times after when she’d allowed him to hold her. No, he hadn’t misjudged her feelings. Whether she wanted to believe it, she liked him. So why didn’t she want to admit what was in her heart?

  “If you say so.” He kissed her again, making it longer this time. Once again, she didn’t push him away. Her words were contradicting her actions. It might take him a while to woo her, but he would. And he’d win her affection.

  Although this kiss wasn’t as poignant as the ones before had been, happiness consumed him and he wanted nothing more than to hold and kiss her for the rest of his life. Reluctantly, he withdrew. Emotion glimmered in her intoxicating eyes as a smile tugged on her lips. She was so beautiful, and he wished he could shout his feelings to the world.

  She snuggled against him and rested her head on his chest. Grinning, Joshua rode up to the porch and let her down. She kept the blanket tight around her as she hurried in the door. He prodded the horse into the stable. His father was there and jumped when he saw him.

  “Oh, thank the Lord you’re back.” William clapped his hands.

  “Really, Pa. Did you think I wouldn’t find my way home?”

  “Of course not, but we worried sick over Careen.” He held Socrates as Joshua dismounted. “How is she? I assume you did find her.”

  “Yes, Pa. She just went in the house. Thankfully, I found her before she froze to death. And she’s fine. I doubt she’ll even catch cold.”

  “I pray she won’t. That poor girl isn’t used to Montana’s undecided weather.”

  “Are any of us?” Joshua laughed. He pulled off the saddle. “How were things here at the house? Were the twins all right?”

  “Yes. We were just all worried about you – and Peter, of course.”

  Joshua spun around and faced his father. “What’s wrong with Peter?”

  “He almost didn’t make it back once the storm hit. We don’t know how or why, but he caught his foot in a trap.”

  “Another trap?”

  “Yes. His horse rode into some kind of trap and broke his foot. When Peter tried to help the animal, he stepped in another trap and it nearly snapped his leg off. It was in the same area Shadow was injured. I’m just relieved Careen’s servant, Betsy, knew what to do or Peter would have lost his leg, I’m sure. Apparently, Careen’s aunt had been a doctor’s assistant before the war and Betsy had helped on several occasions.”

  Bile rose to Joshua’s throat as his head swam from the news. None of this made sense. He pulled off his hat and swiped his fingers through his hair. “Pa, what is going on around here? There are too many traps, too many broken fences, and I believe somebody has been staying at the east cabin.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  “Missing food, and the woodpile wasn’t as full. Ashes littered the hearth as well.”

  William shook his head. “I wish I knew, son. I talked to the sheriff after the fence incident, and again about the traps. I’ve asked the bordering neighbors to keep an eye out, but nobody has said anything to make me suspicious.”

  “These things can’t be happening on their own. Someone has to be behind them.”

  “I agree, so. Once the roads are clear to travel into town, I plan on paying a visit to the sheriff again. These incidents have got to stop.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  His father shrugged. “Until Peter can walk again, our days will be very busy. I’ll go alone to ride into town and see him since I need you here on the ranch.”

  Joshua and his father ambled back to the house. When they entered, the twins clung to Careen’s trouser-clad legs while his mother and Gage gave her a hug. Tears of joy spiked his mother’s eyes when she saw her daughter-in-law, and Joshua knew his mother was silently thanking the good Lord for their safe return. Joshua was certain his mother wouldn’t mind if he married Careen, but his brothers may not agree. Still, Joshua needed to wait a while longer.

  The next day kept him busy and away from Careen. Loneliness grew in his chest and he realized waiting to confess his love would be an aggravating wait. He wanted to live a happy life now – embrace his life as Matthew had. Unfortunately, the rules of mourning dictated they wait a year. A year? He seriously didn’t think he could wait that long.

  He’d ridden back home in the afternoon to change his pants since he’d ripped the leg on a piece of wire. As he approached the house, laughter and merriment rang through the air as Careen and his daughters played in the snow. The snow was gradually melting, but they had enough to build two snowmen. It also appeared they were having a snowball fight.

  If the girls saw him, they didn’t show any indication as he rode in the stable. He tied Socrates to the stall before heading out. Before reaching the door, Careen rushed through the opening and quickly flattened herself against the wall. Her smile was wide as her eyes gleamed with excitement. Joshua couldn’t help but grin, knowing this wonderful woman enjoyed playing with his daughters. His daughters needed this as well.

  He glanced out the window and noticed Frances and Jessica headed in a different direction to find Careen. If he hurried, he could spend a few minutes cuddling with her since he hadn’t been able to since they came back from the east cabin.

  He crept toward her, trying to be quiet, but when he just about reached her, his feet crunched on the hay and she swung around. First panic shone in her eyes, but as soon as recognition hit, she exhaled deeply. He slipped his arms around her and pulled her close. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, he placed his over hers and kissed her soundly.

  A small sigh released from her throat as she relaxed and linked her arms around his neck. Her lips were so gentle, and he wished he could kiss her whenever he wanted without having to hide. Her mouth molded perfectly to his, as it always had. He tasted the cheese she’d had for lunch today, along with the tangy lemonade on her breath. Although he wanted to prolong the kiss, his curious daughters would eventually find Careen’s hiding spot and witness something they might be shocked to see right now.

  Hesitantly, he pulled away and smiled down at her. A lazy grin stretched her mouth as she moved her palms down the front of his sheepskin coat.

  “What a pleasant surprise,” she said.

  “I agree.” He nipped at her lips again. “I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t wait to hold you, and took the first chance I could find.”

  She sighed and rested her head against his chest. “Joshua, I know we’ve had this discussion before. We have to stop this before—” She coughed and pulled away to cover her mouth.

  He arched an eyebrow. “Sweetheart, are you taking care of yourself?”

  “Of course I am. This is just a small cold, I assure you.”

  He pulled her fur-lined cloak around her neck tighter. “Well, I don’t think you should play in the snow anymore today. Go inside where it’s warm. You’re not used to this weather.”

  “I know, but it’s so much fun playing with the girls.”

  The loud giggles of his daughters entering the stable had Joshua quickly pulling away before they asked questions to why he and their aunt were in each other’s arms.

  “Papa,” they cheered and ran to him, hugging his legs.

  He kissed each one on the top of their head and returned their hugs. “I can’t stay long. I had to come back and change my pants. I found a loose wire on one of the fences and it made a big rip.”

  “
Clumsy Papa,” Frances said.

  He chuckled and cupped her face. “Yes, I am. I had other things on my mind than what I was supposed to be doing.” He glanced at Careen and winked. “Now girls,” he switched his focus back to his daughters. “I think you need to go inside the house where it’s warm before Aunt Careen’s cold get any worse.”

  “Yes, Papa,” they replied dejectedly.

  He caressed Careen’s face briefly, then forced himself to move away before he gathered her back in his arms, once again. Without looking back, he hurried into the house and changed, then resumed his position atop his horse and he rode their land.

  The memory of Careen’s kiss lasted another day. By this time, the snow had melted considerably, which helped Joshua and Gage keep an eye out for anyone or anything suspicious. Joshua never did find the calf Careen had spotted before the storm, but he knew several of their herd had suddenly come up missing. They’d searched for more traps, and thankfully, didn’t find any. The sheriff had come and talked to all the ranch hands, but nobody saw anything amiss.

  That night he arrived home very late. As much as he wanted to see if Careen was still awake, he didn’t dare. Exhausted, he climbed the stairs toward his room. Hopefully, his bath water would be waiting for him so he could bathe then climb into bed as soon as possible. He entered his room and was relieved to see the buckets of water. As he passed his dresser, a letter caught his attention and he picked it up.

  The sheriff from Pierre, South Dakota, had finally answered him. Although Joshua was tired, he moved to the lamp and sat on his bed to read. His heart hammered with nerves. Did he really want to know what happened? Careen had told him already, so perhaps there wasn’t anything in this letter Joshua didn’t already know.

  “Dear Mr. Grayson. I want to first send my condolences for the death of your brother. According to witness that terrible morning, they stated Matthew and his bride had just exited the church when your brother was killed.”

  Joshua nodded, knowing this was what Careen had already told him. He continued with the missive.

  “After the physician had taken your brother to his office to prepare the body for burial, witnesses stated that Mrs. Grayson’s cousin had appeared beside her quickly, and his treatment of her was very forceful. Witnesses say your sister-in-law struggled the whole time.”